It’s been a while friends… and we’ve been busy. Doing paperwork, working on a mystery fundraising project, living and loving life. However, we’d love to give you an update on what’s happening in the adoption process as of late.

We have been in process to adopt from Rwanda, and we’ve been steadily moving forward until very recently. The short version: In 2010, Rwanda temporarily suspended all adoptions. They did this to re-work their system and become part of the Hague Convention (an international standard that serves to keep adoption safe and legal). Rwanda was scheduled to re-open in mid-2011. That was pushed back to fall 2011, then to December 2011. This was no real issue as we weren’t doing anything specific to Rwanda. Then we heard that the final staff members were being trained, the program would re-open, and that some families were receiving referrals. This was great as we were just about to start Rwanda-specific documents. Now, that has changed. Rwanda has once again closed it’s doors, and is even considering canceling all adoptions, even for those families who are simply waiting on an orphan. These families could lose everything they’ve invested. The timeline is indefinite at this point and there is no way of knowing when Rwanda will reopen again. We are faced now with waiting on a country that may not open any time soon, or pursuing an adoption from another country.

Even in this we see grace, for had we taken one more step we would have committed a good chunk of resources to Rwanda. The good news is, we were just about to finish our home study, and the work we’ve done is not country specific. Anything we do from now on can apply to a different country; we’ll be starting over but we’ll be right where we have been: about to wrap up our home study and apply for our child’s immigration approval.

Our hearts are still tied to Rwanda. We have the option to leave our Rwandan adoption open and start a separate adoption, or we may transfer over to a different country altogether. We are sad to look elsewhere, but adaptation within the adoption process is to be expected- not a surprise in the least. ;) We also know without a doubt that God knows where our baby (or babies) are, so in that sense we are at peace with moving forward in the process.

We had our hearts drawn towards Uganda, but it looks as if their process has slowed down to a halt as well. We are praying through what it looks like to have open hands and hearts. We know Africa is where our baby is, but not sure where exactly yet. So, we’d love it if you joined with us in asking for wisdom, direction and favor as we continue on in this journey. We need our community!

Looking forward to how this next part of the process will unfold, and continually excited to see how good and gracious our Maker is.

Peace friends. ;)

Amy & Matt

Things which are hard to describe have been in my heart for a long while now. Things which God is stretching bigger, wider and deeper than I ever imagined. Things which are taking root in my heart, but have not yet come to be.

I can tell you this:  I am tired of living a comfortable life. It’s not that I don’t want beautiful things- the artist in me is compelled to make everything beautiful. It’s not that I don’t want to sleep in a soft bed with a comfortable pillow under my head. But as I lay awake in my bed at night I can’t stop thinking about all the people who are lying on a dirt floor and eating dirt cakes mixed with salt because they have nothing else… and yet so many are still full of joy!

Oh yes, I’ve fought with myself over it. Just one small example: there have been times I’ve mentally obsessed and actually fretted over trying to make my home beautiful, and being frustrated that we don’t have the resources to do anything with our space. In those lapsed moments it hits me: “what am I thinking?!” Look at how much comfort God has given me! Clean water. Food to fill my belly. Peace and joy in relationships. He has given me everything I need and I have complained. When I realize this, I am humbled to my core and beg for God’s forgiveness.

I don’t want a comfortable, safe life. I don’t want a life that is marked by amazing pictures of food, amazing places I’ve been, and amazing people I know. There is nothing inherently wrong with those things- but these are the moments when God has continued to whisper to my heart, “there is more.” I want my life to be marked by my willingness to walk alongside others who are also broken, needy, and poor.

I have to admit, the hardest part is being patient. Waiting for the dreams He’s given me to come to fruition, waiting for the threads to connect, expectant to see hope in solid form. Not just in being able to hold our child from Rwanda in my arms one day soon, but also for the bigger picture in what it looks like to give my life away. I hear God’s whisper in my heart, “there is more” and I won’t give up until I feel settled in the midst of it.

I’m finally realizing how much joy is in the waiting. In the waiting is where, if you really press into God, He shows you more than you ever thought possible. He shows you how to laugh in the broken moments, how to step forward when you see nothing of substance in front of you, how to lean into His chest and rest in His love like never before, how to hear Him whisper things in the dark.

The waiting is beautiful.

The waiting is expectant, trusting, child-like. Doesn’t God tell us over and over that it is good to be like little children? Why do we scorn it then when He gives us the opportunities to trust in Him like children? Here we are taught how to come back to God, look into His eyes and say “Father, you know best. ” Here we learn that this life is not all about us and our own comforts. We learn to let go of our own plans. In this place we learn how to love deeper, because so much else is stripped away. He becomes our light, our way, and our beauty.

God is with us in the waiting, He is near. If we choose to lean in close enough, we’ll find what our hearts have been longing for. It’s in this more that I want to be.

~Amy

In my last post I made mention of shifting our approach with the blog. So far, we’ve tried to keep it beautiful and clean, with a focus on story. I love the blog, and I’m very proud of it, but we’ve left out essential information: numbers and timelines. We didn’t want to clutter the blog and barrage you with dates and technical info. The funny thing is, I’m a technical info kind of guy (a.k.a. “nerd”). Furthermore, if the roles were reversed, I would have a hard time committing to something that was vague at best when it came to the absolutes.

Asking for financial help is awkward and humbling. I wish we could simply write a check and move to the next step, but that is not so.

Our next deadline is September 27th. We need to send a few random pieces of paperwork (official identification and power of attorney documents) and $2200. This money goes towards our agency fee and also establishes a retainer for our dossier (legal paperwork) and international mail service fees.  We’re 38% there; we need to raise $1366. Just over a dozen people could give $100 and meet this goal; several hundred people could give $5; one person could meet this goal. How it happens is not important. What is important is that we need your help.

Numbers are necessary. They are an important part of the story, and we want you to be part of our story. No, we need you to be part of our story! Please consider helping us meet this next deadline.

Not a week goes by without someone asking about the adoption; today seems a perfect day for sharing. Here’s what I’ve learned: Adoption is equal parts excitement, struggle, and beauty.

A quick history: On February 22nd, we started the legal process by submitting our application. This met little resistance, and by early spring, we were ready to make the public announcement. It is true- a seed planted in winter blooms in spring! We invested many hours building a beautiful blog, and many more hours assembling invitations. It made for late nights and busy weekends but was a sweet time in our home. We had shared the adoption with a small group of family and friends, and had received nothing back but encouragement and affirmation. Now it was time to share with the masses.

What happened in the following weeks I share only to lay a backdrop for where we are today. The blog was clear: we needed financial help, but I figured folks would need time to process and think through any giving. A few people donated immediately, which was a pleasant surprise and a huge encouragement. Three weeks later, that encouragement was gone. Despite of all of the work- hundreds of mailed invites and thousands of Twitter views- nothing was happening. Without getting into too much detail, less than ten people had responded. For an even-keeled guy, I was confused and extremely discouraged.

Present day: The response has continued in a slow, almost non-existent manner. I’m not going to lie- it’s been painful. Pain, however, has a way of opening our eyes to beauty. The beauty is this: we met our first financial goal, almost to the dollar. Those who did give will be on my heart forever as timely beacons of hope. I was right in trusting God to provide. Expecting provision to come on my terms was my downfall and it led to a self-inflicted dark time.

Why do we place expectations and parameters on holy direction? Even further, why would an all-powerful God limit Himself to the confines of my decidedly human mind? I can almost see the twinkle in His eye and hear the smile on His lips as he whispers, “Yes, I AM going to provide all you need, but prepare to be surprised…”.

The main challenge of this adoption is a financial one, but I know provision will come. God’s provision is vast but includes no room for laziness, so we will continue to work hard. Do we need to make a few adjustments to our approach? Absolutely- and we will. In the meantime, I rest in the knowledge that His providence is perfect in every way. It is beauty that expels darkness.

The name of this piece, “Love Will Find Us” is inspired by the song in the previous post “A Story and a Song”. (look below and read the lyrics!) Size: 15×30.

Listening to music while I paint is absolutely *key* for vision- and I love how often pieces develop with the music I’m painting to. They create a story of their own, and this is one of the reasons I enjoy the process of painting so much. While listening to the record this song particularly spoke to me- and after I finished I realized that it perfectly fit the lyrics to the song.

100% of the proceeds made from the auction of this piece will go towards our adoption fund. Highest bidder after 3 weeks gets to take the piece home. ;) (yes, we’ll ship in the US or international as well!)

The story.

I’m not sure when it began, but ever since my husband began traveling a while ago, he’s been thoughtful to hide little gifts/notes for my daughter and I while he’s away. (It has now become a tradition to sneakily hide notes or gifts whenever we travel apart from each other)

January of this year, my husband took a week (+) long trip. Around our house, this is a big deal. He works at home, so we’re used to eating meals together, hearing his music float up from downstairs, and having his general wonderful presence around. Yes, we’re kind of smitten.

This particular week was full of surprises. Instead of going overboard on details, I’ll share the best parts: a mailed package containing a shovel. Notes full of clues leading us to a secluded park we frequent. A hand-drawn map. The clues led us to an “X” and present there was a wooden marker with a heart etched into the surface.

As we dug according to the clues, we unearthed a treasure box- filled to the brim with wonderful things. The experience was… magical.

Looking through my photos lately I discovered this photo of the wooden marker with the etched heart. It reminds me that love leads us down paths: paths of mystery, enchantment, passion, peace, excitement. Sometimes pain, sorrow, brokenness… yet hope is always waiting at the end of each of these paths.

Treasure is waiting for us as well- treasure in the form of love. Hidden, magical, mysterious- and we are all compelled in one way or another to look for it. Hopefully we will recognize who it is from- Jesus. He has given us clues to find peace, to find love, to find hope. All we need to remember is that Love will find us, and sometimes it looks different than we expect.

I’ll leave you with a song which has captivated my heart. The lyrics are written here, but when you have time to listen, it will fill you with the same kind of mystery and longing. Just wait and see.

The song.

Love Will Find Us
(Jars of Clay)

Child of all creation, don’t let the world define you
And if you can’t remember who you are
Let these words remind you

On the path of the empty-handed
He will speak to the heart of the abandoned

These orphan hearts will find a home
Run to these arms, be not alone
Light is leading, love will find us all
Love will find us all

So hard to feel the fires of home when all we see is darkness
We forget we’re not our own and grasp for what’s around us

Till the dawn starts to break around you
Let all the stars in the night remind you

You’re invited to be part of our story.

We are adopting a baby girl from Rwanda, Africa!

This is something we’ve prayed about & have had in our hearts for years… and it’s finally here. We are beyond excited to share it with you, and would love your support, prayers and help in this process. It doesn’t have to be financial- if you can simply help spread the word that would mean so much to us. Tweet about it, share the website, tell your friends, co-workers, family, the mailman, the dog, your hamster*- whoever!

We believe we’re strong in community, and we’re looking forward to locking arms and watching the faithfulness of God unfold together.

We’d love to hear from you, so don’t be shy. ;) Thank you for being a part of this journey with us.

*or sell the hamster & donate the proceeds…

I’m not sure how or when I began constantly clicking on the Mac Dictionary/Thesaurus, or using Dictionary.com, but one thing is for sure: I love the meaning of words. It’s in my nature to dig deep, and I find it extremely satisfying in a nerdy kind of way. The time it takes to read a definition or correlating word in the Thesaurus is well worth the extra minute or two of time, because a good deal is illuminated in the process. It’s amazing to me how one word can possess such depth of meaning. The word on my mind today… hope.

~Amy

“So look me in the eye and show kindness,
give your servant the strength to go on,
save your dear, dear child!
Make a show of how much you love me…” (Psalm 86:17, The Message)

This passage resonates deeply, because it reminds me of the day that Four Leaf Love became a seed in my heart. (read about the Four Leaf Love story here).

We all know what it feels like to be in “need.” Physically, spiritually, emotionally. And yet, many of us will never have to taste and know the raw emptiness of abandonment.

There is a depth of need in the orphan’s cry that is unique. We live in a broken world, and we see and experience suffering on a daily basis. Yet I see too much evidence in life that God has not turned His face away. He sees. He hears.

The author of this psalm knew suffering. The depth of his cry comes from profound loss, abandonment and a distinct cry of desperation. Yet what I love about the writer, David is his confidence. He cries out knowing that God is near, and flings all of his hope and trust into the only person who understands perfectly.

I’ve found something really beautiful:  I can have the same confidence, regardless of what life brings. I can cling tight to the fact that God doesn’t just hear my cries- He acts on my behalf.

As I zero in on His eyes, He’ll remind me that I am lovely, I am treasured, and I am loved beyond anything I can imagine.

With that in mind, I wonder how we can “look people in the eye” in a more thoughtful, provocative way? What can we do to make people feel lovely? Treasured? Loved. What does it look like to give a voice to the voiceless in your world? It could be orphans…or it could be the homeless, your neighbor, a widow, someone in Haiti, Japan, Africa…

As we work together towards loving more deeply, I’m expectant. There is a lot of work to be done, but we’re doing this walking hand in hand… and its so much better that way, isn’t it?

~Amy